float_on_alright | Merry Christmas Y

Mom keeps offering me chocolate, which, while great, is also kind of hilarious. I had a ton of chocolate and garbage to eat today. We had two different kinds of danishes if that gives you an idea of the ridiculousness of my food today. Then dad got me cherry cordials, which I love. I had peppermint bark. I had vanilla coke (if you don’t love the taste of vanilla coke, then I just don’t know how we’re gonna stay friends). The oven is half broken (we can broil shit, but we can’t bake anything) so we had hot dogs and macaroni and cheese for dinner. Chelsea also brought a shepherd’s pie (okay… technically cottage pie, because it’s beef instead of lamb, but whatever), but that is not a thing I eat. I don’t like mashed potatoes or peas. I’m not a big fan of ground beef in gravy either. Like if it’s going to be ground beef it had better be in an American excuse for a taco or lasagna, at least for me. So yeah, I’m just not a fan of shepherds or cottage pie. The hot dogs and the macaroni and cheese though, that was allllllll me. We also had coleslaw and chili (sans beans, because I’m ridiculously picky).

So you can see where this is going. More junk food.

We had King’s Hawaiian rolls too, which I love.

I’ve been snacking on hugs and kisses for weeks.

So then, I made custard--the English kind/way where it has a sort of creamy soup texture instead of being congealed. It’s delicious! Dad and I LOVE it. We put it on lemon meringue pie. WE PUT SUGAR SOUP ON PIE.

Now, most of the time my mother would’ve started fussing at me about my sugar and junk food intake about the time I ate a cherry cordial with my breakfast. So for her, at the end of all of that junk food to then say, “hey Kate do you want some more kisses?” is almost like the Orange Shit Storm in Chief offering real, genuine help to those in legitimate need--it just doesn’t happen.

I can’t imagine what got into her. It could be from me telling her how much I was struggling. I told her yesterday at the Christmas Eve party that I was struggling with an episode of depression. I connected to the steroid for her, but I think the symptoms started earlier. Still, I think they were making things worse. With side effects like personality changes and severe mood swings, it would not be beyond the realm of reason to think that the drugs were exacerbating the situation.

At least I’m off them now. My foot is feeling better for the moment. I think the hot water bottle instead of ice packs thing is working to my advantage.

Speaking of, I’m going to go heat up the water for my hot water bottle and head to bed.